Creating Great Personal Finances in Marriage or a Partnership
Creating great personal finances in marriage starts way before you get married.
PERSONAL FINANCES DURING THE DATING PERIOD
You can get a snapshot of your friend’s personal finance habits by discussing your likes and dislikes while your relationship is in the early dating stage.
This is beneficial because if you see someone who has really bad habits early, you can block yourself from taking the relationship any further. Great personal finance in marriage begins way before marriage is talked about.
Relationship therapist site that one of the top three reasons for divorce is financial problems. Either one or both people in the relationship are over-spenders and don’t pay attention to debt, that is a recipe for disaster. Get out early and save yourself from a long relationship of misery.
Signs of Someone Who Mismanages Money Terrible:
1. They live a lavish lifestyle for their income,
2. They complain that they have debts they can’t pay,
3. You witness them mismanaging money when it comes to paying bills or refusal to live within a budget.
4. They asked you to pay when you go out and it’s their turn.
5. They borrow money from you while your dating
6. A huge sign is if they asked you to sign for a big purchase they can’t qualify for such as a car or motorcycle.
7. Owes money to the IRS – your check could be garnished if you file jointly and your new spouse is not paying. If one or more of these signs exist, especially number 5 or 6, it may be time to leave the relationship now.
PERSONAL FINANCES DURING THE ENGAGEMENT PERIOD
Discuss personal finances after you get engaged, this is crucial since good finances are a major aspect of good marriages. The more you know and agree on early the better your finances in the long run. The engagement period is your last chance to evaluate your future spouse before you get married.
This is when you get deep into habits that could make or break a good marriage. One of those habits is spending. This is your last chance to identify your chances of getting great personal finances in marriage that will be lasting.
Don’t use this period to brag about your ring or only think about the type of dress or tuxedo you want. But, focus more on the fact that this is your last chance to get to know each other on a deeper level.
Ask a lot of questions of each other before you are married, obtain and share your credit reports with each other, work to get both credit reports in good shape before you get married.
Pay off any excessive debt either of you may have, pay off bills that may hinder a good relationship, sell off things you don’t need, and could be used to pay off debts. Understand how personal finances (budgeting-spending-investing), now, will affect your relationship later.
If one or both of you has bad finances or bad financial habits now, you may not be a good fit for marriage to anyone soon. It’s ok to get out now, even though the rings and dress have been purchased. It is far cheaper than a divorce.
PERSONAL FINANCES IN MARRIAGE
After you are married, maintain good finances together to help maintain a good marriage and a good family life. As stated before, marriage counselors state financial problems as the main source of marital problems and eventually divorce.
Maintain good finances to help maintain marital bliss and a financially stable life together. Secure finances, that includes a financially secure home life, includes the frequent discussion of and analyzing.
You are now responsible for the finances of one another. One with poor finances could affect the purchase of a home or car. One with poor finances could put the family into an unnecessary bankruptcy. If you lose one spouse to death the other is responsible for paying off their debts, if the debts are listed only in the deceased name.
Some debts are transferable through estates, some are not. As a married couple, there are benefits to purchasing a home or car together, keep finances strong together so these purchases will be possible.
If you find yourself in the unfortunate scenario of marrying someone who is a terrible money manager, that can be fixed if the person is willing to admit it and work with you to change. Start with my free personal finance worksheets available on this website.
Here are some helpful tools you can use now! All free for my readers
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It’s definitely a challenge to merge personal finances once married/serious but I think being open and communicating about them is key. Nice freebies/worksheets too!
Thank you, hope the freebies help.
I’m nowhere near marriage quite yet, but moving in with roommates at school is where I am. Having good, financially responsible roommates is also key and those warning signs at the beginning were really useful!
You can actually work with your roommates to keep things fair and honest in paying the bills equitably.
This is so helpful. People do not realize how much financial struggles can weigh on a relationship and it is definitely something that takes two people who can agree and work together to make work. This was a great read!
Thank you Dylan, now I know I am on the right track.
I’m nowhere near being married, but I love all these tips. They make so much sense and the printables are very helpful.
Thank you, hope you enjoy all of them.
My husband and I faced a very big financial crisis a few years back. I wish we had done this before we got married, we both look back now and are so shocked at the amount of money we wasted and the debt we racked up. We now hold budget meetings and hold each other accountable for the amount of money we spend on things outside of bills. I also talk about this process on our blog. I am so glad to see others realizing the importance of finances and trying to keep from letting it ruining their relationships.
This post is SO SO important and I’m so happy that you wrote it! I feel so lucky that I was best friends with my boyfriend of 3 years before we started dating so I got to see his work ethic and saving qualities before we jumped in.
I’m a pro saver but I actively try to learn how to live a life that I WANT not a life that I think that I need to live. He helps me see the joy in life while still living inside of our means.
I teach me how to save and he is SO good at listening. He use to love impulse buys but I’ve taught him how to calm down and think before buying.
I think it’s hard to find someone EXACTLY like you – but it’s important to learn together, grow together and be open to change!! Not all change is bad and could actually benefit you! but if your views are widely different… RUN. lol
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